Oct 07 2008

Jealousy Is A Husband’s Fury

Published by Jacquie under Fasted Lifestyle, Intimacy

In the past several months, I have had a recurring dream where the main theme is relatively the same and the details are just slightly different each time.  In these dreams, I am being approached by a man who begins to flirt with me, flatter me with nice words, tries to make physical advances, and even speaks poorly about my husband.  My response to these men varies – sometimes I listen to what they’re saying, because their flattery sort of makes me feel good, sometimes I react with violence and physically assault them, sometimes I just try to run away, and at other times I have called out to my husband to come to my aid.  My husband’s response was also varied – he was often nearby, but just out of earshot or line of sight – seemingly unaware of what was happening.  In one dream, he approached me and the man who was flirting with me and he began to speak words of love to me and kiss me.  In another dream, he firmly took the man aside and warned him to stay away from me. 

Since I believe that the Lord speaks to me through dreams, I have begun to ask Him what He is trying to say to me, since apparently I’m not getting the message, as He’s having to repeatedly give me the same dream to try and get through my thick skull!  :)   To be clear, I don’t believe these dreams are literal and I don’t think the Lord is trying to warn me about committing adultery against my actual husband – I love my husband dearly and am committed to stay true and faithful to him for all of our days.  What I believe these dreams are, is a picture or analogy for my relationship with my heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus.

In Proverbs, it says that “jealousy is a husband’s fury” and in Hosea, the Lord talks about how he will jealously win back his adulterous wife, Israel, and block her path from going after her other lovers.  In Hosea, Israel’s other lovers were wealth, food, possessions, and worshipping other gods, forgetting her first love.  I think I can often be tempted to console myself that I am not committing adultery against the Lord, because I don’t think I’m being unfaithful or completely giving myself away to other loves.  Yet, what I believe these dreams are suggesting, is that I need to be wary of not just committing adultery, but also of even listening to the flattering words of these other loves that would seek to steal my affections from my Husband, if even for just a moment.  It may seem innocent, but in reality, it is very dangerous.  I don’t know much about what people have experienced when they’ve gone through unfaithfulness in their marriage, but I’m sure it wasn’t a sudden decision to go and commit adultery – it probably began with simply listening to someone’s flattering words. 

I’m beginning to realize that I don’t just want to avoid committing adultery against the Lord – I don’t even want any suitors!  I don’t want to even allow them to whisper their alluring words in my ear.  I want to respond to their flirtation in the same way I would respond in real life if a man approached me.  I wouldn’t stand for it!  I would definitely tell my husband about it and I would clearly let the man know that his advances were unwelcome and to stop, because I’m a married woman!  Similarly, if I think about the things in my life that distract me from the Lord as suitors who are trying to steal my affections from my Husband, I think it would help me to respond to them with a greater severity and sobreity.  These things – whether they be television, surfing the internet, busyness, even doing good things when I know I need to spend time with the Lord – are all trying to flatter me and flirt with me and tell me how much they want to be with me and that I’ll enjoy their company more than my Husband’s.  They try to convince me that they will bring me more joy and satisfaction and that He doesn’t really care about me that much anyways.

Well, if I think about the way my husband would respond if a guy was making advances at me, he would definitely take action if it was required and come to make his claim of me clearly known!  In the dream where my husband came and began to kiss me and tell me he loved me, I felt so affirmed and reassured in his love and it was like a slap in the face of the suitor who had just been trying to convince me that my husband didn’t really care about me.  In the dream where my husband forcefully dealt with the suitor and told him where to go, I was extremely relieved and felt like he had rescued me from a situation where I was feeling weak and not handling it well on my own.  What I believe the Lord was trying to show me is that, if I let Him, He wants to demonstrate His love and affections for me in such a way that it will shatter all the lies of my suitors and will leave no room for doubt about His feelings for me.  He wants to erase any misgivings I may have about His commitment to me and His passion for me.  He wants me to have experiential knowledge of His love for me so that I will never be tempted to find my satisfaction anywhere else.  And He is just waiting for me to ask Him to come to my aid - as my heavenely Husband, He will gladly deal with any suitors and show them that I belong to Him and Him alone!  He will jealously display His Husband’s fury on my behalf and scatter them before me.  All I need to do is look to Him and He will run to my rescue, displaying to me His passion to possess my heart entirely. 

So, for example, if I’m in the very face of temptation and I’m feeling the urge to go rent a movie (I’m not saying watching movies is wrong – only when I know that I need to spend time with the Lover of my soul & to watch a movie would mean choosing to be entertained over intimacy with my heavenly Bridegroom), I could in that moment, lift my voice and say, “Jesus, this movie is flirting with me and trying to steal my affections from You.  I know that it cannot satisfy me and that You are exceedingly superior, yet it’s alluring words are tempting me to be unfaithful to my commitment to love You wholeheartedly.  Jesus, would You come and demonstrate Your jealousy and passion for me right now!  Would You fight for me and speak to me Your words of love so that I will be able to violently resist this suitor and rediscover confidence in Your affections for me.  You are my Husband and I do not want to even listen to the flattery of this suitor.  You are my first and only love.  I am Yours and You are mine!”

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Oct 14 2007

The Scoffing Spirit

Published by Jacquie under End-Times, The Second Coming

First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation”…But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief…2 Peter 3:3-4,8-10

The Scoffing Spirit
Today at Sanctuary House of Prayer, the message shared began in 2 Peter 3 with a warning about our susceptibility to be influenced by the scoffing spirit of this age. The speaker went on to describe the danger of this spirit’s ability to clutter our fervency and leave us unknowingly dull. This provoked me to write about our need to combat this spirit with a holy violence in our lives.

What I “Knew” About the End-Times
Now, if you have never thought about the Second Coming of Jesus or if you’ve sort of avoided the topic because it seemed too difficult to understand, or perhaps a little scary, then you’re not alone.  Since I was a child, I had a fascination with the topic of the end-times and the book of Revelation, but I had absolutely no understanding on it and nobody around me seemed to either.  The only things I remember ever being taught or hearing about the end-times and the return of Christ to the earth was that:

  1. The book of Revelation is far too difficult to interpret so leave it alone.
  2. He is going to come when we aren’t expecting it so don’t bother trying to figure out when He might be coming.
  3. Everyone who has ever thought Jesus was coming soon was wrong, so basically don’t expect Him to come in your life time (so taking point #2 into consideration, if I’m not expecting Him to come, wouldn’t that mean He’s probably coming? ;) ).
  4. If it does happen to occur in your life and for some reason you don’t get raptured with the rest of the saints, all you need to remember is DON’T TAKE THE MARK OF THE BEAST!!

One of Them
Now I don’t have time to refute each of these in this post, but, needless to say, my eschatology (end-times theology) was pretty limited, mostly ignorant and a little fearful.  To add to my struggle, I would often have dreams relating to the end-times and Jesus’ return, and since I believe that God speaks vividly and prophetically through our dreams, I was troubled by them and didn’t know what to make of them.  You can imagine the wrestling match I endured when I found out the man I was dating and knew I was going to marry began to tell me that he believed with all of his heart that Jesus would return in his life time!! I was appalled, confused, offended, angry, afraid, and embarrassed, to mention just a few of the emotions I felt!  I began to argue the four points above with great passion (mostly #2) and at that time in my life, was pretty much one of the scoffers mentioned in 2 Peter 3.

Dull & Slumbering
Sadly, my passionate conviction that we couldn’t know when Jesus was coming and that it was heretical to even think you knew when he might be coming was birthed by a scoffing spirit found not in the world, but within the church herself.  The very bride of Christ who is described in the book of Revelation as partnering with the Holy Spirit and crying out for Jesus to return to the earth, this same bride didn’t seem to believe He was actually coming!  Or at least, not likely in their life time, which is exactly what the speaker meant when he said that this scoffing spirit will leave us “unknowningly dull”.  If we buy into the lie of the enemy – whether it’s coming from the church or from the world – our hearts will become dull and listless and slumbering, for there is little reason to prepare for something you don’t expect to happen.

How then should we live?
Peter goes on in his letter to encourage the body of Christ, that in light of their firm belief in Jesus’ return (he was writing on the assumption that this was so), that it was absolutely vital that they prepare their hearts for what was coming!  Since it was absolutely certain that He was going to come back and that He was coming not just to sweep His bride off the planet, but to also bring judgment upon sin, Peter gave them the answer to the looming question of, “So what kind of people ought we to be?“  We must be asking this same question of ourselves – in light of this knowledge, how should we live our lives?  What kind of bride is He coming back for?  How do we need to prepare?  Peter’s answer was this…”live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming…make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him…be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

On Guard
We need to be on our guard against this spirit that would seek to steal away our hope and belief in the second coming of Jesus.  Yet, let’s take it one step further, and instead of just being on the defensive, take the offense and wage war against it!! If you don’t know what you believe about the end-times and Jesus’ return, then start digging into the scriptures and start asking those hard questions. Wrestle out your beliefs, do your research, argue it out with someone, truly examine the Word!  Then make every effort to firmly stand your ground against anyone who would try to lure you into to being carried away by their unbelief.  Seek understanding, but most importantly, seek to know Jesus and who He is and surrender to His desire to make you into the pure, spotless and blameless bride He is coming back for.

For a good place to start researching and asking questions about the end-times, check out the onething forums at the International House of Prayer’s website or check out the book End Times Simplified by David Sliker.

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Feb 24 2006

Outstanding Among Ten Thousand

Published by Jacquie under Intimacy, Raising Forerunners

For a rather vulnerable glimpse into my life, lately I have been thinking a lot about being pregnant and wishing I had a life in the process of creation within me. This is in part due to the dozens of pregnant women and new mothers around me. I also think it is because Joe & I have been married now for a year and I am actually in a position where having a baby is not completely out of the question. We have a house and room to grow. Not only this, but as a young woman who is nearing her quarter-century birthday in the coming year, the timing seems good for starting a family. I also think that my motherly instincts are beginning to blossom along with the simple continuous longing for a child to call my own.

Taking all this into consideration, I also do not actually feel ready to be a mother and I really want to make the most of our married years where it is just the two of us, before the pressures and responsibilities of parenthood dramatically change our lifestyles. This then requires patience and trusting in God’s perfect timing and knowing that He has a plan for us and our future family. Yet, I still can’t help feeling a sadness when I dream about having a baby, only to wake up and discover that it isn’t real.With all of this on my heart, I was reminded of Hannah from 1 Samuel. She too had a desperate longing for a child, but she was barren. She had the adoration and devotion of her husband, but she was not satisfied with this. Her desire was so intense that it drove her to depression and not eating. She was almost obsessed with her dream of having a child and could think of nothing else. Her husband, who loved her dearly, however, was wounded by this and asked her, “Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”I think this caused her to think and consider her dream. As she was praying, she presented her request before God, asking Him again to give her a son, but then she did something very dramatic. She “sacrificed” this dream that was so close to her heart and vowed that she would give her son back to the Lord for all the days of his life. She let go of her greatest desire and surrendered it back to God.

I can’t help but think that perhaps the Lord sometimes asks me, “Don’t I mean more to you than…?” (fill in the blank) – a child, a career, a position, friends, my spouse, family, ministry, possessions, etc. Sometimes I can get so focused on my dreams that I neglect what I already have. I fix my gaze on the desires in my heart and forget about the most important thing – I have the very Creator of the universe to call my husband, my Father, my best friend, my Savior, my Helper! He is sooooo much more to me than any of those things could ever be!!

This then reminded me of the verse in Song of Songs 5:10 which says, “My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.” I have mostly thought of this in the perspective of considering the Lord’s beauty and that He is more beautiful than all others. But then I began to think about it in the context of my dreams and desires – the ones most dear to my heart, the good, even God-planted dreams. I sat down at the piano with my Bible and began to sing everything that I was feeling and sing from the Word as a way of expressing my heart to God. And what came out of it? A song – very simple, nothing fancy – but nevertheless, it impacted me.

“You mean more to me than ten thousand dreams.
You mean more to me than any fulfilled fantasy.”

So…do I have what it takes to surrender my dreams the way Hannah did? I hope so. In all truth and sincerity, I believe that the Lord is enough. He is more than enough! And without Him, none of those things could ever come close to satisfying me. He is truly outstanding among ten thousand! And we have the privilege of knowing the end of Hannah’s story (although our own eludes us) – after she gave her dream back to God, He answered her cries and gave her a son, Samuel. She remained true to her promise and gave her son to the service of God in the temple, even though it was very difficult to do. Yet, the Lord gave back to her 5 times what she gave up and He blessed her with 3 more sons and 2 daughters! Plus, Samuel became an extremely influential man of God who heard the voice of the Lord and played a major role in the life of King David, from whose line would come the Savior of the world. Wow!

When we give up something for God, I believe it so moves His heart with love for us that He can’t help but pour out so much blessing on us. The smallest movement of our hearts towards Him in acts of voluntary love for Him strikes His heart and He is ravished by us, by just one glance of our eyes. (Song of Songs 4:9)

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