Oct 19 2009
Book Review: Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
I recently had the opportunity to review the book “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, and coincidentally was also able to watch the 5 Disc Conference DVD set at the same time. My husband and I started reading the book together, but then found it much easier and less time-consuming to watch the DVDs. I finished reading the book on my own and found it interesting to then compare the book with the DVDs.
First of all, the book and DVDs introduce couples to the idea of “unconditional love and respect” from the verse Ephesians 5:33 which says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” As Eggerichs expanded on this idea, I was totally convicted by the Holy Spirit in areas where I had not been showing my husband the respect that he needs as a man. It was a new revelation to see how God had created and designed my husband to need this respect in a completely unique way from the way He created me to need love. This was followed by some fantastic teaching on how we can make our spouse feel loved/respected and the different ways we communicate and interpret our worlds based on our unique pink/blue lenses. It was really great to discover that we have different needs and that we’re not wrong to feel the way we do – we’re just different!
My eyes were opened to see the ways I was being disrespectful to my husband and it equipped me with ideas on how I can really build him up and be the helpmate God intended me to be through my respectful behavior towards him. On the other hand, I have also already been reaping the benefits of increased acts of love from my husband, which is certainly a bonus!
We are both recognizing more quickly when we have gotten on the “Crazy Cycle”, as Eggerichs calls it, and how to work through those conflicts and get on the “Energizing Cycle”. (You can read the book for yourself to find out what those are all about!) We were also both really pleased with how the teaching series ended with focusing on the importance of making Jesus the focus and center of this message, since ultimately, the way we love and respect our spouse is directly related to our love and reverence for Christ.
I would absolutely recommend this book and/or DVD series to any engaged, married, separated, or divorced couple who wants to either build a great foundation for starting their marriage, improve upon a good marriage, or repair a badly damaged marriage. (I also know some single people who’ve really enjoyed this teaching, so it seems I could recommend it to just about everyone!) The many testimonies from couples that Eggerichs shares are proof that getting this revelation of what the Bible says about unconditional love and respect can radically change our marriages for the better! And while my husband and I found areas where we do not fit the typical mold of how most men and women communicate or react, we were still able to discover how to apply the principles to our relationship and the conversations we had while watching the DVDs were probably the highlight of it all!
As for the comparison between the book and the DVD series, I would say that I enjoyed the DVD series more because Eggerichs is a dynamic and humorous communicator in a way that doesn’t come through quite as well in the written form. But I am also really glad I have the book, because it allows me to go back easily to reference points I want to review. The content between them is virtually identical, but I’d say there’s more detail in the book as well, which you may benefit from if you’ve only seen the DVDs. For more info, you can also visit their website at www.loveandrespect.com.

