Longing For His Appearing

Return to Me
There is a key portion of scripture in Joel 2 in which the Lord says, “…return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” The prophet continues on to say, “Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity…Blow the trumpet in Zion, declare a holy fast, call a sacred assembly…” (vs. 12-17) There is far too much going on in this text to expound fully, but the basic message is that when there is sin in the land and coming judgment, the Lord calls His people to respond by fasting and praying in repentance and turning back to Him with their whole hearts. Only then is there hope that He may relent from His anger and perhaps release blessing instead.

Little Foxes
Yesterday I was listening to the webstream of the prayer room at IHOP where they are in the midst of a 40-day fast and Mike Bickle was leading the people there in a time of personal repentance and turning. It was very reminiscent of 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says, “…if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Mike encouraged each person to fix their thoughts on the Holy Spirit and submit to His leadership over their lives, asking Him to reveal any areas of sin that needed to be repented of and dealt with. He referenced Song of Songs 2:15, “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards…” which is the bride crying out to Jesus, asking Him to help her remove the little sins that sneak in and ruin the garden of her heart. It’s not necessarily the obvious sins of murder, adultery, or theft that God is going after, but He wants to rid our hearts of the “little foxes”, the inconspicuous sins that we pass off as not being that bad – things like complaining, gossip, or pride. Then, once Holy Spirit had highlighted these things in our hearts, we were challenged to determine to not do those things again and turn from our sins, recognizing that we may very possibly fall into them again, but still making a firm decision to resist to the best of our ability.

Resisting Sin
So, as I listened, I was meditating on the passage in Joel 2 and speaking to the Lord & asking Him to show me what I needed to repent of and turn from in my life. I began to write down the things that He was showing me, yet none of them were really new to me – He has tried to confront me on these issues before, but I realized that instead of resisting the devil (James 4:7-10), I had been resisting the leadership of the Holy Spirit, not wanting to submit to His correction. I have knowingly been facing the same temptations over and over again, but usually giving into them instead of really fighting them, making excuses that I was too weak to resist them. And then, I was suddenly reminded of a verse that my former pastor Steve Osmond had once preached about – Hebrews 12:4 which says, “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” Basically saying that I was not yet resisting to the point of allowing myself to feel the pain of turning from sin and putting to death the desires of my flesh. I don’t know why we think that killing our flesh won’t be painful or a struggle! In Joel 2:13 it also says to “Rend your heart” which means “to tear violently” – that definitely sounds painful! Yet I have definitely not yet resisted temptation to that point of pain or really fighting and saying “NO!” I’ve been more like a passive dog that rolls over onto it’s back as soon as another dog attacks it, completely surrendering to its opponent without a fight.

Jesus our Example
Yet, earlier in Hebrews 12 it is giving us the example of Jesus as inspiration for us, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus…who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame…Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” I need to fix my gaze on Jesus and how He truly resisted sin to the point of shedding His own blood for me so that I would not grow weary in my battle to do the same. His life and death are my example so that I will be able to “…throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles…” (vs. 1-3)

Turn To God, Turn From Sin, Turn Away His Anger
Then, this morning I was reading Daniel 9, a great example of someone who was embracing the weakness of fasting and prayer and confession on behalf of himself and his nation, and again I saw the pattern of turning. In verse 3 Daniel says that he turned to the Lord God, which was then followed by the recognition for their need to turn from their sins in verse 13, culminating with the desired result that God would turn away His anger and wrath (vs. 16) and instead restore them in His great mercy (vs. 18). For us to turn individually is just the beginning – we need to cry out for a widespread turning so that He will have mercy on our nation of Canada, bring a revival of souls coming into His kingdom and a restoration of righteousness and holiness in our land.

I am very excited to say that God has blessed us with a house after many weeks of being out-bid on several offers.  Now, I wish I could say that I was an incredible woman of faith throughout this entire process, but sadly, it was actually quite difficult to remain positive. Each house we put an offer on, we would begin to dream and hope and picture ourselves living there & then be disappointed when we didn’t get it. It was stretching for my heart to keep trusting God and that He would bring us the right house at the right time. Recently He had been speaking to us about the “north and south winds” of God – the hard times & the good times. We had previously felt the south winds of His blessing when we sold our previous house, but it was soon followed by the cold north winds of testing when our car was broken into & then the house-hunting began.

It’s funny how God can show You His goodness & faithfulness & blessings, but as soon as the storms come, your foundation feels rather unsturdy as it is tested to see how firmly you really believe these things. How quickly we forget that He really is kind & loves us & has promised to take care of us! How easily I get discouraged and feel weak in my faith when the smallest bit of trial comes my way! If anything, this whole process really showed me what was in my heart and produced in me the desire to develop a stronger foundation that will be able to withstand whatever storms may come. Because I know that MUCH bigger storms will be coming! I want a heart that is so in love with Jesus & so confident in His love for me that no amount of pressure, persecution, trial, hardship, temptation, disaster, etc. would be able to shake that confidence.But thank God that when I am weak, He is strong! When I am faithless, He is still faithful! When I am powerless, He pours out His grace to supply what I am lacking. So while I see that I definitely have areas I want to grow in, He has lovingly provided for us & given us this house. We are very grateful & thankful to Him for it all – the south & the north winds – for it is all producing in me an inner beauty that far surpasses what people may see on the outside.