Longing For His Appearing

The other day, I had been reading about how Jesus was our scapegoat and how He carried the weight of our sin for us. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, but then later that night I rented a movie…

Now, I’m pretty sure that Holy Spirit prompted me to walk away and I think I knew that I shouldn’t have watched it – but I ignored His small voice and watched it anyway, naively hoping it would get better. Afterwards, I felt defiled and began to ask myself what the movie made me feel and why. There were several things in the movie that made me angry – the infidelity, the drug use, the condoning of sin – but when it came down to it, what angered me the most was the disregard of God. As I tried to express this, the thing that seemed to sum it up best was simply that “Jesus deserves better”.As I confessed this, tears began to flow as I began to think again of how Jesus had become our scapegoat and how He had taken upon Himself all the sin that I had seen in that movie, and He had taken on all of my sin (including my disobedience that night). And love for Him began to well up in my heart as I had a revelation of how beautiful and amazing He was for doing that for me and for all of sinful mankind. It pained me to see the blatant disregard and rebellion against God in that movie because it was being done towards this God-man that I loved! Jesus, who I was beginning to know better and fall more in love with had been despised and scorned and it was like a sword piercing my heart.Now if only I could feel this way all the time – if only I could remember the strength of emotion I felt when I said, “He deserves better” – how much would that change the way I live? Sadly, we are very forgetful creatures, and I continuously don’t live my life according to what He truly deserves for what He did for me on the cross. But I want to – and the more I read about Him, the more I discover who He is and how He feels about me, the more I believe that it is going to radically transform me.